Authenticity Bullsh*t

Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Sniffing Out the Bullshit. Now, I feel like this week could probably be summarized in just one cent, but I'm gonna rant for a few minutes because what sort of podcast would it be without me having a little rant about all the bullshit in the world? Now, this week is all about authenticity, and I'm covering it because it's probably just about the biggest buzzword in the business world at the moment, especially when it comes to personal branding. And because I largely work with entrepreneurs and I'm in that space, then so many entrepreneurs are concerned about their own personal branding, and they've been told they need to be authentic. Now, it's funny because I am consistently told that I'm so authentic. I'm like, what does that mean? Now, I feel like we should know what the word means, authentic. And we do, a dictionary defines it as not false or copied, genuine, real. So there's no surprise there because we knew exactly what that was. However, I feel like when you spend so much time on social media, social media defines it in a different way. It's probably people talk about authenticity as having a different opinion, maybe speaking out against other people, or dressing how you want to dress. That's being authentic because if you try to conform to the norm, then that's not being authentic and all this sort of stuff. However, I find it utterly bizarre. Now, I should be flattered, right? Because everyone's like, you're so authentic. That's why we like your content. And I'm like, well, yeah, like it's just about being you, being true to who you are. And everyone's like, okay, so what does that mean exactly? It just means showing up as you. Don't try to be anyone else. So for me, being authentic is quite possibly the easiest thing you can do. Because what it means is strip away all of those thoughts that go through your head about how you should show up or how you think you should be perceived or how you should be dressing is a sort of way. What do you want to wear? But you're probably worried that other people might think of a certain way if you wore certain things. But for me, authenticity is just literally being true to who you are, doing what you wanna do and being who you wanna be. Now, that's why I say be true to who you are. I have also heard that phrase misused and people sort of use it as an excuse to be a bit of a dickhead.

So it's like they will snap at people, they'll be rude and they'll be offensive and they'll be like, well, I'm just being true to who I am. That's how I'm showing up, just being authentic. But do you know what, fair enough, if you are like that as a person, then and that's you being authentic and that's how you want to be, and that's how you want to treat people, then actually, do you know what, being authentic is helpful because I know to stay the hell of a way from you. So authenticity is definitely, definitely something we should be striving for. But my confusion lies around the fact that people seem to not know how to do it. People feel so confused about what authenticity is because advice at the moment, whether you see on LinkedIn, whether your boss is saying it, whether someone's trying to help you a personal brand, they're saying you just need to show up and be authentic. Like you must hear this all the time. And I feel like it's said so much that it's lost all meaning. So what on earth does it mean? So first of all, let's see where this has come from. I feel like it's definitely exasperated after the pandemic. Now, looking at some of the recent stats and research that's been done by like the McKinsey and all the other research groups, that they say that 88% of consumers prefer to shop from brands that they believe are authentic. And do you know what? Well, I get that, and I totally feel the same way. I'm in that 88%, but the key thing is there is that they believe to be authentic. It doesn't mean that the brand is being authentic, and this is where it's difficult. So brands now are chasing this authenticity, and you will hear this being talked about in the meeting rooms of the PR marketing teams. So how do we show up and be authentic? Well, you just be yourselves, but then they're like, well, who is that? Who are we as a brand? And if you don't know that, then you really need to be going back to the drawing board and looking at your brand strategy, because every brand should know that. Otherwise, you're never gonna succeed as a company if you don't even know who you are and what you stand for and what you're trying to achieve, because that's all it is. In fact, if you were to Google how to be authentic, and this is actually ridiculous how many hits there are and how many people actually Google this on a day-to-day basis. But yeah, this is so Googleable. And there are checklists. There are step-by-step guides that have been done by some of the top sites. This is a topic that is exhausted. So the sort of things that come up is like, stay true to your values, have integrity, be honest, all these sort of things.

And to me, I'm like, well, yeah, duh. That goes back to the dictionary definition. Genuine, real. Just be real. I must hear the term stick to your values all the bloody time. Because whenever we are posting a job out and we've got our values on our about page or who we are page on our company. And, you know, because that's the thing to do. And we have external values and we have internal values and, you know, people we hire want to share those values. And when I ask the question, so why do you want to come work for us? They immediately say, oh, I align with your values. And I'm like, okay, so which ones? And they can't remember them. So again, the aligning with your values has become another buzz term because people are saying it because it's apparently the thing you're supposed to say. And that's how you get on with people. That's how you know they're the right people for you because they align with your values. Even when it comes to companies talking about who they select as clients. And then you'll see these companies who try to pretend that they are above others and they are, you know, ethical companies and they're well to do. And they say, we only pick clients that align with our values. I mean, I've said it, hand, you know, and I hate myself for saying it in some ways because it is just a buzz term. Although we do actually think that. We will try to find clients who do align with our values. But the problem is this has become just something people say because it's the thing to say at the moment, just like authenticity. So, I just don't understand why this has become such a big deal. Why this journey to seek out authenticity has become such a huge ordeal. Why can't you just be you? Why can't you just show up each day being you? Whoever that is. So, if everyone wants everyone to be authentic, because apparently that's what it is, then you have to accept people for who they are, what's at all. So, of course, you have to, you know, conduct yourself in a certain way, in certain situations to be acceptable, but you should never fundamentally change who you are. You know, I am outspoken, in case you haven't noticed, and I will call people out on their bullshit, but I'm not gonna interrupt a talk at a big conference and just shout out, bullshit, to our people on stage, even though there's much as I've wanted to do that in the past, because that's just rude and disrespectful, and you just don't need to do that. And needless to say, I am not rude or disrespectful. I do like to call people out on their bullshit, but I do believe there's a time and place for that. So there's a balance.

I am not being inauthentic by sitting there and not saying anything, but I am being respectful, which is being true to my values, because I do like to believe that whilst I call people out on their bullshit, I am also diplomatic. I'm not the type of person to want to personally offend people. So you can do both. And I don't think it should be that difficult. You just show up and be you. And number one thing, don't lie. As soon as it starts to feel like you're being a bit dishonest, you're not being authentic. It's not that difficult. Just don't lie. And so I want to understand why there is such a difficulty around being authentic. Now, I came across some organization the other day, and it's called BY at W. And I believe it stands for be yourself at work. And they're campaigning for this, for everyone to feel comfortable and be able to be themselves at work. And another best term that's been thrown around is psychological safety. So it's like they want to feel psychologically safe that they are respected for being who they are and they can be themselves. And the stats that they've come up with are quite alarming, to be honest. Only 24% of the people they interviewed believe they know who they actually are. And I mean, on the face of it, that sounds remarkably low, but it's something I've been talking about recently. And actually, I find it quite accurate, or maybe even I believe that the number is probably truly less than that. And the people who say they know who they truly are probably don't still. I feel like it took me years to know who I really am. And there's still parts of me I'm still trying to discover. But you fundamentally know yourself, and you know when you're happy, truly happy, and also even not even happiness, because there's a whole conversation around what is happiness and how to find that. And people are always on this pursuit of happiness. And actually, you know, you just should be in the present. But I think it's more about what makes you feel comfortable. So let's start with that. It's comfort. And I think that, take certain people who, you know, are in jobs and or they're in certain situations, relationships even, whatever kind of relationships, whether it's a work relationship, personal relationship, they think they know what they want. They are always saying, I'd be happy if, or if I just got this promotion at work, then everything would be okay. Or if I just made another 20 grand a year, everything would be fine. And I'd be so much happier.

And then they get those things, and then nothing changes. Because they don't truly know what they want. And that stems from being truly not knowing who you are either. So I kind of believe that. And I believe that most people don't actually know what they want. I've had this trouble with when running a business and, you know, I tend to put other people first, instead of myself. I've always been like this. And whilst it could be perceived as a weakness, it could be perceived as a strength. However, you want to look at it, what I know is that I, you know, sacrifice business profits in order to try and make all the staff happy, which is not necessarily a good idea. But I would listen to kind of all their feedback and they would say, I want this, I want this, I want this. And we pretty much granted everything. And you know, they got so many perks, whether it's company holidays, a Peloton in the office, mental health days, snacks, socials paid for, food, like, you know, working from home, all these sort of perks and benefits. And they would get all these and still be unhappy. So what truly makes them happy? What do they actually want? Because they might seem like they want these things on the surface of things, but they don't necessarily want those things. And you know, what I found is that most employees just want to be respected, they want to be heard, they want to be in a place where they feel like they can grow and they can, you know, they have a voice and they're happy to voice that and they feel what we talked about, psychologically safe. I feel like that's what most employees want, but at the end of the day, everyone's different and you need to ask them. So that's that. I understand that. And I understand where that came from. So, you know, that's what, 24%, we said, who believe that they don't really know who the real them is. And then even lower than that, 16% feel that they can bring their real selves to where they were. Which is really quite depressing. And so, which makes sense because almost the flip of that says research shows that when people are themselves at work, their performance can be positively impacted by up to 85%. So that means only 16% of your workforce are actually performing at a high rate, and the rest are really, really underperforming because they don't feel like they can be themselves.

And that totally makes sense because if you don't feel like you can be yourself, you can't be comfortable, you can't be confident, how are you supposed to do your best work when you feel like that? But the real question is, is why don't they feel like they can be themselves? And why aren't they being their authentic self? Now this might not even come back down to authenticity, it might just come back down to a toxic work environment. If you feel like you have to show up in a certain way, then it could be also down to the fact that you might have a toxic work environment, but it also could be down to your beliefs. And you might think that you have to come up in a certain way or you think that you have to act a certain way around other people. So my question is, do you know who you really are? Because if you do, and do you feel like you can be that person all the time? Because if you feel that at any point you are holding yourself back or acting in a way that isn't really you and you feel like you're having to put on an act, then stop and think. Because this is being inauthentic, and really, what is inauthentic? If the definition of being authentic is genuine and real, you're being fake. No one likes to be called fake, right? No one's like fake, and you're being fraudulent. If we want to be even more potent about the terms, you're committing fraud in a way by showing up and being a different person, saying different things. That's a form of fraud. That's being fake. So, do you really want to show up in that way? And if obviously, I'm guessing no. But why are you doing that? Is it a fear of rejection? Is it because, you know, you feel that that's what you're expected of you? So you have to think back to what the reason is that you are acting in this fake-slash-fraudulent, or inauthentic, if you want to be as nice as possible way. So, why don't you try showing up as the real you? If you know who that is at the moment. And obviously, if you don't, that's okay, because you've got some time to think about it, but start thinking about it. So why don't you show up and just be the real you, and see what happens? If you get treated badly at work, if you get backlash on social media, then that's more of a reflection on other people and not you. You need to think about what makes you feel comfortable. You need to feel comfortable every single day. If you're going to spend 40 hours a week working in a place, wherever you go, you need to feel comfortable, but be miserable if you were uncomfortable the whole time.

And as long as you're respectful to other people, and they should be respectful back, everyone's a little bit different. So you need to show up as your real self, whatever that looks like, and see how people react. And it might take some adapting too, if you've been different for a little while, but that's okay. And you should let people know, look, I'm on this journey, I'm trying to find out who I am, and bear with me. These are the things I like to do, these are the things of the way I like to work, and you need to bear with me on this. But it will become so much better for you. Now, this is obviously an issue for lots of people, so much so, I'm honestly shocked by this, that there is now a profession going around of being an authenticity coach. I find this mind boggling, because how can you coach someone to be authentic? Let me just, again, let me just think about that. If you're coaching someone to be authentic, you're coaching them to be themselves. So why can't they just be themselves? I guess, it's a form of life coaching, apparently, it falls under life coaching, so I guess, I mean, like, I mean, when I think of life coaches, I think of Jazz and the Peep Show, so probably I don't have a good vision of life coaching. If you haven't seen it, Google it, go onto YouTube and watch a clip, because this is what I think of. So probably that's the problem. But I guess you can, coaching is to bring out the best in someone, right? So I guess you can coach people in all areas of life. They might already be that, but you have to get them to try and think about it. The most bizarre thing is, is like how do you coach someone to be authentic? Because also the coach has to know the real them to bring it out of them. It just feels inauthentic doing this, if you have to coach it. And it feels so wrong that you're taking money off people just to help them become authentic. Just, they need to just let go. They need to just be themselves. What I think they would need more, if someone isn't showing up as the real them, what they probably need more is a psychologist to find out why. Because that's what it is. Unless the other assistant coaches are actual trained psychologists, I find it bizarre, because if they're not showing up as themselves, there is a reason why. And we need to find the reason for that so that they can show up as themselves. But no one's gonna help them know what that is, apart from them. They have to be them. It's the most bizarre thing ever. And then I see this now. It's just developing even more and more of a buzz thing, so much so that it's so inauthentic. Even Harvard's doing courses on authenticity. It's bizarre. I find it so crazy.

So I don't know if anyone else is thinking this, but authenticity now has become bullshit. It's become a term that people are using, and if they're describing themselves as authentic or they're becoming an authenticity coach, all they're doing is positioning themselves to stand out from the crowd because apparently not many people are authentic. And so all they're doing is saying that they are this authentic person because they're telling the truth, and actually a lot of the time, they're not telling the truth, and it's just a way of getting you to believe them. And so you need to watch out for this authenticity buzzword because it's so, so bizarre what is happening. Sure, 88% of customers want to work with brands or want to buy from brands who they believe to be authentic. So just tell the truth. Be transparent. Explain to people why you started the company in the first place, what your mission is, how you aim to serve your customers, and how you're going to do that, and how you're going to put your customer's needs first. That's what you need to do. And that's all it is. And don't hide things that are bad. And there's gonna be another discussion around that because there's a fine line between PR marketing and bullshit. And you're not obviously gonna wash all your dirty laundry in public, but just don't be dishonest. That's all it is. So remember the definition of authenticity is just being genuine and real. If you just show up every day and just be yourself, you are authentic. You don't need anyone to tell you you're authentic. You don't need anyone else to define that for you. Just be you. It's that simple. And so yeah, I could have said this in one sentence, but I decided to rant for 20 odd minutes about it. So I hope you enjoyed that. But the authenticity thing is driving me insane. And I hope that you could all just ignore the noise around it and just feel comfortable about being you. And I would say that if you don't feel comfortable, then that's not an authenticity issue. That's something else, and that's other people making you feel uncomfortable or external factors making you feel uncomfortable. And that's what you need to look at, not an authenticity issue. So I hope you enjoyed today's episode and I will see you guys next week for another episode of Sniffing Out The Bullshit.