So I want to close this episode on the biggest lessons I’ve learnt this year because I started to ask myself if the happiest day of my life didn’t make it a kid year, then what actually defines a good life?
And I realize that definition is purely subjective, even though we’re probably led to believe it’s not at all.
But you know, during this my time off and the fact that I haven’t been able to work as much, I’ve been doing so much self reflection to get through this.
And I’ve realized that I’ve learned some quite profound things this year.
And I really wanted to share them with you because I certainly wish I had this viewpoint before this year.
So the first point is that I’d say most founder stress is actually self-inflicted and wildly disproportionate.
And you’re probably not going to like hearing that, but I do believe it’s true.
And think about the things that stress you out in your business, right?
Some stuff will absolutely be legitimate and unavoidable.
The perils of running a business.
Or that’s just life I guess.
But many things will be things like worrying about your reputation online, noise, mistakes and other people’s behaviour.
We put arbitrary deadlines on things and give ourselves anxiety trying to reach goals that we upset basically for others to be impressed by.
And I know I definitely did all this, but then I realized none of it actually mattered when something real happened, you know?
So next year I want to be selective over what I stress about.
I’m going to ask myself what is still worth stressing over when something unexpected or major happens.
So #2 is that time is the only non renewable resource.
But yet we pretend otherwise.
Like, we act like we can always make time later, after that launch, after the growth phase, after the exit, you know, But later is not guaranteed.
And building a life on that assumption is kind of reckless.
And so working out our priorities is probably the most important thing that we can do.
And that’s not actually an easy job because everything often seems like a priority.
And I realized this year that when we say, oh, yeah, someday, what we really mean is never.
Like we don’t even realize we’re doing that.
And they think about it, right?
It’s what our parents used to do to us as kids to like, ease their way of an awkward situation.
Like, oh, when can I have a pony someday, darling?
Like dig me wrong.
I’ve never asked for a pony.
I’m just, you know, trying to think of something.
It’s ridiculous that like the parents are like, oh, someday, darling, like, you know, But you know, so if you’re saying someday to something, you’re probably never going to get to it.
So if you genuinely want to get to that thing that you’re saying someday to then make a plan to make it happen with concrete milestones and keep yourself accountable #3 I’d say that grinding for a future version of life is a dangerous lie.
Now, along the same lines as that Sunday point I just said.
Working endlessly now so you can enjoy life later only works if that later actually comes.
And watching someone I love do everything right and still lose that chance completely broke that illusion for me.
So I now want to work in shorter bursts to make my current life as good as it can be.
Because I don’t even know if I’ll have a later life.
So why make myself miserable and stressed now if I don’t even know I will get to enjoy the benefits later?
Now, I love future planning and long term thinking, but there also needs to be a balance between enjoying your life now and preparing for the future.
So take that holiday, buy that designer handbag, go to that spa.
And yes, these are totally all of my guilty pleasures and I’m trying to justify my spending.
But I do believe that we should enjoy the life that we have now too.
We can always make no money if we’re doing things the right way.
So #4 would be around the fact that big teams and constant chaos are not badges of success.
Because I found that many founders are stressed not because they’re ambitious, but because their businesses are badly designed.
And after pivoting somewhat this year to work with more founders or smaller businesses, I’ve realized that they’re not bad business owners at all.
They just don’t have the right systems in place because no one has ever told them about the importance of systems.
Instead everyone focuses on the shiny things, the vanity metrics, the PR, the big wins and stuff.
But things like over hiring and constant firefighting drain so much time and energy without even creating better outcomes.
So this is not a badge of honour that you can proudly call start up culture, but instead this is just poor organization and it can be fixed.
And it’s what led me to do my whole small team’s big profit series that I plan to continue next year.
And I’d say the final lesson is that success should reduce stress, not require more of it.
And this was really the big one for me because so many people said to me that to be successful, you need to endure a lot of stress.
Now, I get an element of that.
As I said, I do believe in hard work, but if a business only works when you’re exhausted, you’re anxious, and you’re absent from your family, it’s not a good business.
I want to help people build small teams, real profits and lives that they actually get to live.
The people who can do their 4 hour work weeks are the ones who are truly successful.
You need to work your way to that success however.
But if you are building for the life you want, you can put things in place to make that happen.
So many people I know work their way and bust their asses to tell their company, only to then become an employee of that company and be even more stressed than ever.
And that’s not the life that I want, nor do I want that for my clients who are actually searching for a quieter life and don’t want to copy the exit strategy of these big hustle bro founders.
