I’ve been having a tough time lately dealing with a lot of online abuse. I’ve noticed that social media is becoming a place where people go to troll others, rather than support.

The nasty and bitter humans are louder than ever and they’re becoming so much more confident because they have so many others who are willing to support their views online.

Thanks to new features on the prominent social media platforms, this problem has gotten worse too. For example, X decided to make it so that people cannot see what content you’ve liked. So, previously, those who were too scared to openly like a racist or bigoted post are now free to without repercussions.

This in turn makes the post reach more people and helps to amplify those voices. You would think that social media channels have some level of responsibility to deal with hateful posts that are circulating on their platforms, but they love it. Provocative posts mean increased engagement, and that’s what they want.

I’ve really avoided getting involved with these posts, but the algorithms of these platforms keep showing them to me, even though I’m not engaging with them. It’s like they know they infuriate me and I’m so close to just bursting and saying something.

But what it has meant is that I’ve found it difficult to spend a lot of time online.

Over the last couple of months in particular, the hateful posts seem to have increased. I would comment on a very normal post, but then I seem to get tons of negative responses, no matter how nice my comment is.

At least once a week, I will have something racist said to me, but most of the time, it’s just calling me thick and ugly. Not exactly mature insults, but that’s the level it’s resorted to.

Now, I sort of expect this stuff from Instagram and X, but this stuff happens on LinkedIn too! People are happy to comment this kind of stuff under their real name and showing who their employer is.

The problem is, I’ve never seen any employer react even when people tag them into a disgusting racist, sexist and bigoted comment from one of their employees. It makes me wonder what is tolerated at their company.

So yeah, right now, I’m dealing with a lot of negativity online and I’ve had to really reflect on how to deal with it so that I don’t get too upset and let it affect my work.

I guess you could just say “Well, spend less time on social media”, and that would be a nice simple answer. I’ve thought about this, and I already spend less than 1 hour a day on it. But for the sake of my job, I need to be on social media.

Just like many entrepreneurs, the majority of my work comes from my activity on social media. I am also getting to the point now where I have brands approaching me to make content for them. If anything, I need to be stepping UP my social media game rather than reducing it.

However, a LOT of comments I get are negative and it can be quite upsetting and you get really put off from posting.

I wanted to do this episode to let people know what it’s really like when you put yourself out there all the time and how I’ve been dealing with the negativity.

I know many people have also been really upset with how people have responded to their posts and it’s put them off social media completely. Hopefully this episode will help you realise that it’s not just you and gives you a few tips on how you can handle it.

So I guess the first question is: why am I spending so much time on social media? Well, as I mentioned, I actually spend very little time across my social media channels compared to most people.

I have the Time Limit settings on my iPhone set so that I have a 30-minute limit for LinkedIn and then 30 mins for all other social media apps combined! When it comes up on my phone sometimes, people think I’m nuts. They’re like “How do you survive on just 30 mins a day”.

Most of the time, I don’t even see the alert – I don’t even spend 5 mins a day on there and I just don’t miss it.

The problem is, you can still damage your mental health with just 30 seconds a day on social media, so you need to be careful.

LinkedIn is the main platform that I use because it’s where most of my leads come in. I generate a lot of business just from posting on LinkedIn, so I kinda feel obliged to post on there. That’s why I set 30 mins for that platform alone. That’s enough time to engage with my audience and keep building on those relationships.

As a busy entrepreneur, I feel that it is necessary to build a personal brand. I know that there are plenty of successful entrepreneurs out there who people have no clue about and they’re smashing through their business goals and don’t even have personal social media accounts.

That’s great for them, but if they want to change jobs, or look for other opportunities, it will be much harder without a personal brand. These days, your social media followers are considered your “community” and they are essentially currency. I covered some of this in the vanity metrics a couple of episodes back. And while I don’t like that people are measuring success in the form of these metrics, they DO provide more opportunities… annoyingly.

It’s one of the reasons I’ve now branched out into YouTube and trying to make a bit more effort with the other platforms like Instagram – because of the brand deals that are in negotiation.

If you are small business owner, the likelihood is that you also will want to be posting on social media and building yourself up as a thought leader online. You will want to build an audience and engage in the comments to nurture those relationships.

But this is exactly where it can also get difficult.

While most of the comments you get are in support of you, (especially these days with the use of bots etc., because they just summarise your post and agree with you – with zero insights of their own), you will get the odd negative comment.

However, if your content is slightly more controversial like mine, you will not just get the odd negative comment, but you will get a LOT of people disagreeing and making nasty jabs and a ton of really nasty DMs.

I don’t even try and be controversial, but I am speaking up against all the bullsh*t out there and people do not like it.

Many people have suggested that my content is actually bullying people because I’m saying that what they do is bullsh*t, and that I am spreading negativity because I’m focusing on the bad stuff.

Now, this is an interesting take. Because none of my posts focus only on the bad stuff, but actually tries to highlight a problem and then come up with a solution. The same with my podcasts and the same with my new YouTube channel. Oh I launched that last week by the way, so if you haven’t seen, please go to youtube.com/@sabrinachevannes to subscribe!

But yeah, some people have suggested I’m bullying them. Now, if they self-identify as creating bullsh*t content and spreading false information, then that’s not my problem. I am just trying to bring awareness to the fact that these shady tactics exist in business and people need to protect themselves.

Many people thank me for keeping them safe and helping them identify the bullsh*tters, but naturally it’s not going to be for everyone.

Over the last month, I have had the following negative DMs:
– I am racist against white people because I frequently support black people
– I am anti-men because I am constantly highlighting successful women
– I am aggressive because I’m always swearing (I only use the word bullsh*t really!)
– I am actually really thick and I’m a failure at everything I do
– I do so many things to look like I’m busy because it’s because I’m masking how crap I am at everything
– I look like a monkey who got hit in the face with a cricket bat
– I have an incredibly annoying voice and they would find a way to shut me up if I wasn’t so unattractive

It’s really quite charming!

Now, about 5 years ago, I would have been suuuuuuuuper upset by all this. I would have really let it get to me and probably spent two days bitching to my friends about what these people said.

And that’s what I realised I was doing all the time – exhausting all my energy on their negativity. It wasn’t even the words that hurt the most, it was all the constant negativity I would experience by constantly reliving it with my friends.

I’d be riled up, probably retaliate to their comments, trying to tell them why they are wrong and then make it worse and worse.

Nowadays, I’m a lot better at handling it, albeit, I still get upset sometimes. But for most of those comments I mentioned, I actually just laughed them off.

And here’s some of the strategies I’ve been using to deal with the comments better:

Building my self-confidence
I’ve been working a lot on myself over the last few years… though I still have a lot of work to do! But I used to have terrible self-confidence. So, if I got a negative comment, I’d instantly believe it, take it super personally and then hate myself for it.

Since I’ve been working on my self-confidence, I am now aware when something is just a spiteful comment for the sake of it. Sure, there may be some negative feedback that comes in which is actually useful and relevant. But those who are delivering constructive feedback is to help me, and that’s easier to take.

You can see it as a learning experience and know that they’re trying to help.

If you know what you’re good at, know what values you hold and know that you’re doing things for the right reasons, it’s much harder for someone to knock you down.

For example, I know I am certainly not racist or anti-men. My white husband-to-be may have some issues with that if I were! I just love supporting women and people of colour. I believe we already get discriminated against enough so when support is due, I give it! Just because you support one demographic, doesn’t mean you’re against another.

I do a lot of things because I’m incredibly ambitious and I just have a lot of interests. I may not be brilliant at everything I do, but I still enjoy them and I think that means more than just being good at everything.

I don’t think I’m aggressive, but I am assertive while always being respectful. People can mistake that, but I know my intentions.

So, as a result, I’m able to ignore a lot of these personal attacks because I know fundamentally they’re not true.

Of course, I may be coming across a different way to the way I think I am, but I can then get feedback off other people to ensure that this is not the case.

Work on Mindset

In additional to building on my self-confidence, I have been working on my mindset – helping to analyse the words being said for their true meaning.

If I know that what they’re saying is fundamentally not true, how can I get upset about it? Also, it’s the opinion of one person, not a fact.

This reframe has been super powerful for me.

Also, why are they saying these things? What benefit is it to the other person to say any of these things? Nothing good can come from it – it’s not helpful at all. So, they’re saying it for the sole reason of upsetting me.

And whoever does that is not a nice person. Therefore, I should not allow myself to get upset otherwise a nasty person has won the psychological battle.

The comments say more about them then they do about me, so I reframe the situation. Instead of thinking “Oh, these people are saying nasty things about me – people must not like me and they do think I’m stupid and ugly”.

Instead, I think… “Oh dear, these people must be going through something themselves if they’re reaching out to a stranger and deliberately saying something hurtful.” Because no one else bullies someone else unless they’re hurting inside themselves.

So, I either feel sorry for them or I just think they’re not a nice person and have zero interest in what they have to say.

OK, this has taken me years to get to this point, but I wish someone else would have told me this reframing trick because it’s done wonders for me.

Curate Your Feed

Another thing you can do to help remove negativity from your social media is to curate your feed. Just go through and any posts that trigger you, just unfollow that person. They could be posts that spew bullsh*t, bragging about how well they’re doing, even when they’re not. Or it could be people who just put out a negative vibe and like to put people down to make themselves feel better about themselves.

There’s a lot of those people in my feed and I’m slowly but surely removing these people so that I consume a lot less BS content.

Get a VA

If all that doesn’t work, then the last resort is to get a VA to handle your social media! They will absorb all the negativity and can notify you about any real opportunities that come your way so you don’t have to keep checking the notifications.

It might sound harsh on them, but usually the bad things don’t affect them because it’s not about them. They can just filter through the noise for you.

This will save you lots of time and energy and do wonders for your mental health.

The only thing I don’t like about it is that you don’t get to build up the real connections with your followers. Unless I guess you work out a system where they give you the comments to reply to etc. It all sounds very complicated to me though and may not be worth it!

I guess it depends on how much hate you’re getting!

But what I will say is that if you’re getting that much negativity, you’re probably doing something right. You’re pushing some buttons – you’re speaking out against the status quo, which is how we get new ideas.

The most famous thought leaders we know didn’t rise to fame from just agreeing with everyone and saying the same thing as everyone else? They were doing things differently. They will have had a LOT of people disagreeing with them at the beginning too.

But they stuck with it, didn’t back down and stayed true to their values. And now people respect their opinions and ironically, largely agree with everything they say.

It’s a strange little rollercoaster. But if you’re getting some hate, that’s actually a good thing. You’re on the right path. It’s just a really sucky time to go through and you do need some tricks to get through it. Otherwise, it’s very easy to give up, stop posting and lose that momentum!

I hope that some of the advice I’ve given in this episode helps. If you are getting some hate online and you’re not sure what to do, or feeling in a rut with your content, please do reach out and I will be happy to lend an ear.

Until next time, keep sniffing out the bullsh*t!