Welcome to this week’s episode of no bullshit talks.

Today I am joined by the wonderful Rosemary Ikpeme it coming eh and so excited to have you here today.

She is the creator of an amazing journal called MYnd Map but also you’ve had like a crazy expensive like history of working in media right.

You’ve got CNN BBC ABC like I mean all the different like three letter that’s exactly about media first.

Like how did you get into that.

And you know what what’s what you said general is journaling not journalism but journaling.

Yeah thank you so much for having me Sabrina.

I’m super excited to be on your podcast and you know.

Yeah just just getting to know you and being part of this is very very exciting.

All right so what got me into media.

I have always been pretty creative.

So at school I had been doing a lot of drama and my trajectory should have been you know being an actress.

Essentially that was my passion that was my dream and but it didn’t happen.

It didn’t happen.

You know you come from Niger and family and it’s like drama is not it’s not really know something you could do for work that’s not work doesn’t mean so I ended up doing law which I hated but I did it anyway for a degree and then I fell into this this job which was mortgage broking.

So I was mortgage broking for Alexander Hall which were the mortgage broker arm of Foxtons.

And as we know Foxtons is very cutthroat in terms of you know how they operate and you can imagine Alexander Hall.

So being this young 20 something year old thrust in this kind of male dominant sales aggressive dog eat dog world just wasn’t for me.

And I was just so upset.

I was just so upset and I just thought to myself I need to get back to my creative kind of realm where I feel more comfortable you know.

And I thought what is an offline medium you know something that will pay the bills.

Where is it and something that will give me that creative element as well.

So and I just fell into I was like okay I’m going to go work in the media industry because I you know I have that balance.

And had to beg my first job because my like literally I was there was an assistant job.

But I had to beg her because she’s like well it seems like you’re too overqualified for this.

I’m like no I just need a foot in and I just really need what.

What is with that.

I’ve heard that line so many times I remember trying to get my first job you know in a shop.

And I went around my local retail stores just wanted a shop assistant you’re overqualified.

What is that like how is someone too qualified for the job.

Take them in with open arms they’re going to be an amazing employee like I don’t get that.

And if they will put in the work and do the work I thought you know.

But I guess they’re just afraid that you know you’d get bored and you’d want to move on quickly which I understand.

But yeah I had to beg for it and got it and then just kind of found my footing in that field somehow.

And yeah so that’s how it started with the whole media and broadcast industry.

That’s really cool.

And yes you are mortgage broking as well and that is definitely a male dominated environment.

But is what and again why is that.

Like I feel like you know you said Foxtons they are cutthroat.

I feel like estate agents don’t have the best reputation in this country.

It’s so different from America where real estate you know it’s quite big and well respected industry.

Whereas if you say you’re an estate agent in the UK it’s like oh my god stand back.

I don’t know.

I mean I feel sorry for them because clearly not everyone is that.

And I think maybe with the I don’t know I think it’s different if you’re working for an agent you know or if you’re an investor you know.

Like you know I invest in properties there’s a kind of a different tone to it but I don’t know.

But definitely I can’t equate the way Foxtons worked with every other estate agency but I definitely know it wasn’t for me.

Yeah I just couldn’t deal with that.

Yeah like I was just so depressed you know.

I think I was about 20 21 or 22 and I just realized I was like I cannot be this upset at this age about a job.

I thought that myself.

And that’s what made me decide to leave.

I was like I am too young to be this upset about a job.

Perhaps if I’m older when I’m in my 40s I can afford to be this upset about a job but I’m just too young for this.

But you know it was really really cutthroat really kind of name and shame.

So not my ethos and yeah it was just so funny.

I was thinking back to one situation this week actually.

I’m not sure what triggered me thinking back and I remember one of the bigger managers there.

I had changed my hairstyle.

I had this amazing bob weave going on that I was rocking.

I thought it was like pretty girl.

I’ve never tried it before but I thought it looked cute.

But then he called me in and we had this really bizarre conversation about oh you know it’s important.

And it’s important how you make people feel or what they see when the first impression you know because that’s when they trust you.

Apparently my haircut was not trusting.

It was like wait a minute wait a minute.

So you got a new hairstyle and suddenly that meant people don’t trust you because of your hair.

Yeah it was it was too.

It was the word it was too close.

You know he said perhaps something less your.

Your hair was too cold because I looked at someone and thought damn that girl’s got a cold haircut like I make it like what the heck.

I don’t know.

But it was just funny because before then you’re talking about you know it’s important what you say to them how you you know because it was sales centric.

No.

And then I turned around and I said hold on a minute did you just say to me it’s important what you say.

So technically that has nothing to do with my hair.

He was like no no no but the way you look is also a.

And I just thought to myself hold on a minute do you pull up the guys and also other women and tell them about how they should wear their hair.

I was going to say how many other people did he say this to or was it just you.

Like there’s a difference you know.

If exactly I mean I don’t know like I never had like an offensive haircut.

I mean people I mean that you look at the hair you think really but you know you’re not like judging them completely on their job by the way they cut their hair.

Like that’s a band.

And you also you know in real estate it’s not like I don’t know I find that really really bizarre.

And I guess was it and how did you feel better in that environment.

Did you definitely feel there was like gender bias issues and like how did you handle that.

Like, how do you handle in being female in a male dominated

and I couldn’t handle it.

So, I did, I was young, you know, I felt that, you know, we need to be successful.

I have to kind of power along with them.

We had one really extremely successful woman who had been with the company I think from the beginning.

So she had already built her accolades and clients and should be the number one they sent it to.

So there was that and, you know, a couple of other, you know, women that perhaps fit, the aesthetics that were there.

But again, it was quite male dominated because it is, you know, it is sales.

And yes, I you can be feminine and, you know, you can also be good at sales but if it’s something that you’re not good at, and it can help, which I found it.

So, I just couldn’t stay away.

I couldn’t, I stayed, you know, to the point like, I was crying on the train because my train was late.

And that was the most devastating

thing that good?

Yeah.

Just

yeah, crashing.

You know, that you’d be told off, you know, that, you know, you’d have to, you know,

just all that gorgeous.

Can’t just say

yes to you.

And again, I just just know.

I was too young and I think that’s probably the best decision I’ve made.

Yeah, I was gonna say yeah, like you you it is wasn’t right for you, it wasn’t your destiny.

So it put you on the right path and I feel like there were so many scenarios in life where, you know, you feel like it’s the worst news in the world, something bad that happens to you.

But in retrospect you realize thank goodness that happened.

Otherwise I wouldn’t be on that path.

But say if for example, you know, you were young, it was difficult, you’ve matured you’ve learned a lot along the way.

But what about for those people who, you know, who are still young and and are in their dream job and they want to, they want to stay there.

They don’t, they don’t, you know, you left because you knew it wasn’t right for you.

But what about those who have worked their butts off to get to where they are?

And they just happen to be in a company full of male chauvinistic jerks?

Like what, what, what advice can you give those young females in that environment, who are waking up every day?

Actually, dreading going to work, they love their job, but they just hate the people they’re around, and there’s that fear.

Yeah, but you say the wrong thing or you know, you can’t speak up because they’ll say something about you and, you know, there’s a huge ratio of men to women.

What advice can you give them?

Well, that’s that’s a very tough question.

I, you know, I’m still trying to figure out the answer that.

Hence, I left the corporate world because I just it just wasn’t.

My value wasn’t seen.

I felt I’m not seen, not heard not valued and not appreciated.

So I left which is also the one of the best decisions.

Made but then going back to your question, you know, we need to look at that intersection Ali because first of all, I’m a woman and second look, you know, first of all I’m black and second of all I wanted.

So if we’re talking about that, we need to look break that down into those two to because, you know, it is time for women to speak up in a lot of women are speaking up and people are listening, companies are listening.

I don’t know to what extent if they’ve now putting things in place to to encourage women, to speak up, you know?

Because as much as you know, we want to speak up or you you’re being told to speak up.

If you’re not in an environment, that’s conducive in terms of listening and actually taking action towards what you said, then there is no point.

And again, it’s kind of, you know, disheartening and we then end up staying silent again.

So it is about speaking up.

It’s about holding your space and making a space sometimes you know, they will not make space for you and you need to make your space.

You need to have your own space.

It being you make, you know, make sure you have a seat at a table.

Make sure you speak up.

Make sure you, you know, you make people aware, if they cutting you off.

You know, making sure you highlight those situations and not, not kind of showing away, but then again, like I said, it’s intersectional because it is easier said than done especially as a black woman.

Because once you do that, that, you know, you have the stereotypes of all she’s being difficult, which I’ve had that, you know, your well, what’s your?

an answer to

that is what I actually got told.

Yes I got help.

This was one of the reasons I left the, you know, left the whole field and started the business because I had this issue, I had an attitude problem, you know, I was to, you know, you’re angry, you’re this, you’re that.

So, that there is so many different layers to this problem as a woman and as a black woman.

And or if you’re, you know, from the lgbtq group as well, then you have another layer of that as well.

So, but I think the thing is to speak up, you know, whatever it is.

And if you’re going to be labeled, then then that’s it.

Unfortunately, you know, you can’t, you can’t change.

I mean that, you know, find a way to be able to speak up where people might will listen as well, you know.

Yes, we can be a frustrated and angry.

You know, take a moment, you know, maybe take some time to actually plan how you’re going to speak up about it and then execute because, you know, you have every right to be angry.

You have every right to be frustrated, but make it work for you as well, you know.

Make it work in a way that it’s going to be taken, seriously and actions going to be taken,

but it is super difficult.

Like you saying, all this now, and, you know, in retrospect, it’s totally makes sense.

Yes, I’ll go away.

I’ll be calm and I’ll come back and feed it through.

And it’s like in those situations where, you know, you’re being treated unfairly, you’re the one that’s being like, you know, disrespected and they’re telling you, and you try to say anything, you tell you, you have an attitude problem, that’s how you know, you’re being rude.

And you know, you need to know your place.

That’s the other that sort of stuff that does only going to fill you with anger so it is very difficult to do this.

Also, you know, consistently like I said not being unheard not being respected being spoken over whether it’s a sexism issue, whether it’s a racism issue, whether it’s a bigotry against your sexuality or whether it’s all three.

Because as I said some people are suffer from all three you know regardless of what it is it’s not easy.

Even though you know that it’s nothing, you’ve done.

It’s not a personal well it’s personal but it’s you know, it’s their issue there.

The one with the problem.

It still doesn’t make it any easier and I still think that you need a hell of a lot of confidence.

See, be in that room to have the competence Tannerite, right?

How you’re talking to me is not okay.

And I know that for, I’ve been running my company for years and I still have that issue.

I still get asked to speak to my mailbox who doesn’t exist, but there must be a man in charge.

I still have that and it’s still so difficult to say no, it’s not okay to say that that what you’ve just done is really really disrespectful.

And you know, I think that it has a play on your mental health as well which is I’m going to come to your journal about that because I feel like the more, you keep it inside, like you saying, you can.

It’s unhealthy like you, you would be sitting on that, you just not say anything.

You just go to work every day.

Perhaps hating yourself every little bit, a little bit more for, not speaking up, and then you sort of, you know, it gets to you.

And then one day, like you said, you miss your train and your burst out crying you shout at everyone and, and something.

So trivial seems like the worst thing in the world because all of these feelings just come out and it’s just like you said that you’re sitting there going.

Why am I crying it?

Just looking at its who’s like even worse and and and you know we’ve all been there and that’s not healthy on anyone that also then leads to building personal relationships at home because you bring it home with you and and this is why I love this journal.

and will help as

well.

Yeah.

And physical health for sure.

And and I’m guessing this in part is why you started MYnd Map.

And so so I want to obviously hear about this now, and tell me more about this insane plan and like, how what made you decide to leave the corporate world?

Leave the mortgage brokers, leave like the media like cool, you know, cool jobs and all that stuff.

What made you then decide to go it on your own and do this?

Well, I mean, like I said, you, you are so right, where, you know, when you’re in the heat of the moment, it is so frustrating.

It’s so annoying.

You

can’t hold it in or you, you feel like you have to it’s, you know, it can go either way which is not necessarily that, you know, the way you want to handle it.

And I get it because I’ve been there and I’ve been, you know, I’ve been in situations where maybe I could have spoken up, but I didn’t and every, you know, come out of it and go, oh, Rose, maybe you should have said something.

But and it’s so hard because there’s no representation.

I only found a woman who I felt I could relate and connect with through Twitter.

Because she was in her glorious fabulousness in the corporate sphere, quite senior up, you know, rocking her long braids, and her bright nails, and her tight skirt.

And I thought to myself, wow.

So this can exist and I didn’t know that because you’re, you know, you’re painted a different picture as to what it should look like and what you should be like and what you should dress like or talk like and I was in my 30s and I realized if I had seen women like this in my early 20s, would I have changed the way I would have shown up to work.

Would I have been more, comfortable, comfortable, comfortable, and confident, in going into the workplace.

And going, this is who I am and speaking up when I need to.

So I think representation is so so important.

I think that’s one of the reasons I did this because I felt like I need, you know, if I could even another young girl can see, oh, she did it and she looks like me or she’s rocking her braids or she’s just chilling out.

She’s got a piercing then I can do it as well.

So that’s great in terms of how I came to do this again.

Yeah.

Well the whole you have an act that I was in my dream job.

Absolutely dream job, which is what you’re saying if you’re in a dream job and just all these unfortunate situations happen, what do you do?

So I was in my dream job loved it.

You know, it was part of this vision that I had written about a year ago.

What I wanted autonomy, you know, a boss who was like, mentor traveling, you know all these experiences and I got it in this job and then it was real, they had a restructuring going on and I had a new boss who essentially I for some reason we just didn’t get on.

You know, whether she just liked me or not and you know, I probably didn’t, you know, favor her much either, and it is hard because she’s your boss.

And, you know, and she is, she had the, you know, she had the relationships with the other, you know, other people.

So, having not necessarily anyone in your corner, to kind of bounce this with who looks like you.

So you could understand and go oh, is it just me?

Or am I something?

You know to the point where you’re sitting there and she’s screaming and saying you have an attitude problem and then when you sit there and smile, why you smiling?

Yeah, when you can’t have an opportunity, you can’t smile.

I mean what do you do?

Like

imagine someone saying wipe off that smile off your face.

I mean the the me now looking back.

I’m like, who the hell are you talking to?

But then again, you know, like you’re cool in the situation and yours is stuck.

And I thought I was a strong independent woman who’s gone through life, and who’s been through all these other amazing companies and has the experience and can speak up and your day experiencing this to the point that even I was, you know, subconsciously denying what was going on.

I was just like, oh, you know, it’s fine and I can deal with this problem and I’d go in and like my hand shaking, you know, from you know, anxiety, which I didn’t never knew that was, you know?

And people would turn around go like, no Rose this is not okay.

Even though they wouldn’t say anything.

Hmm, which is interesting and I think this is what again, I’m working kind of, you know, pulling up people on.

You know if you want to help you need to say something, you can’t even the corner whispering.

So yeah, I didn’t have anyone who looked like me to reach out and kind of combine it and go.

Is it just me or I’d be experienced this before?

What have you done, what?

You know, what suggestions would you have?

And then the others who did come and say, oh no, there’s something wrong, just kind of kept silent.

You know, it’s not my issue.

I’ll just leave you know.

So I decided that’s how this the the idea of the business came on because I thought.

Okay, now it’s time to plan a different future for me because clearly this is not the future.

I want, I want a brighter more fun.

And exciting accepting loving you know, future.

We didn’t work being my life.

And this is not it because I was so unhappy for nine months straight and started doing a vision board with a couple of friends and then the idea came up and I do this time around, it’s stuck, you know, it just stuck because I, you know, I thought to myself, you know what I’m going to do this.

I’ve had ideas in the past and I’ve not really pursued them this time around is like if feels right.

It feels like if I don’t do this I will regret it.

And yeah I started about four years ago and I left that job putting up.

I left the job.

I did.

I did I did take action.

I did, you know, have like a mitigation and then I to the point that I, where I thought, okay, I’m happy it did I didn’t, you know, just you to the end but I just wanted to make sure that they knew that I was willing to take action because it was unacceptable.

And, and then job without any new job.

I was just thought, no,

it’s no way.

That’s my wife, that’s Tommy not stop something like I think people who start a business and you know, they kind of have the but the buffer where that they’re in a nice comfy job and then when they’re ready and I’ve got enough money, they leave, that’s different.

And I think that that’s not as it’s not as easy to just, you know, quit and then just go all into something.

Yeah.

But I didn’t even start this business because I just had the idea.

So I quit my job without having another job.

So I thought, okay, I’ll get another job maybe work in a year or two whilst, I’m, you know, flushing out this business it and prepping for it.

But I left that and didn’t have a job but I trusted it.

I was like, you know what, worries me the right job will come for you.

You know, you will make it work somehow.

And within I think a day or two, I, you know, I had a job offer, you know, at CNN.

And that’s where I was for just, I think almost a year and a half.

The year contract and got extended for about four, five months after, and that was perfect timing.

Because it allowed me to work side-by-side kind of just, you know, explored my business idea, you know, prepping for it during the Kickstarter, doing everything.

And then, by the time I left, I was thinking that I would have to take up maybe some part-time jobs.

And I thought, oh, this is going to be a fun exciting time because I’ve never done any waitressing or bar stuff or anything like that.

So I thought, okay this would be an opportunity where I could explore those jobs where it doesn’t take too much brain power, you know but it’s fun I can meet new people and it’s not something that I haven’t done before.

Do it three times a week.

and not many people who see that of that bartending and waitressing as that much of a positive opportunity.

Well, but I’m not many people, you have to put us.

You know, you have to look at the bigger picture.

Yeah.

It’s I would have stayed in that job out of fear.

Because when my contract is coming to an end, I was so afraid.

You know, it kicked in, I was like, oh my goodness.

What am I going to do?

Am I going to throw this almost 10 years worth of career that I built up?

What, you know, my product is not the most conventional.

It’s not, you know, it has elements of what people might consider a little bit.

Oh this is, you know, spirituality or, you know, like journaling coloring in.

It’s not you know you have all those limiting beliefs that it’s not going to be taken seriously.

Yeah, I thought oh my God.

They’ll see me in terms of oh, she’s done all this, you know, in her career.

Now I’m just going to do some really random woo, you know, whatever it is.

Yeah, so there was a lot of fear and I was I always applied to stay and and yeah know and then a friend, told me, I was like, because I got stressed out during the application process.

It’s funny how things in life show, you know, there’s so many signs and you just need to look out for it and receive them.

But I was tried, I was applying for the, there was a permanent role going and I thought, listen, just apply for it.

But essentially, it was out of fear, I applied for it.

And then I went into interview and I just got the sense, that same feeling that I had previously of not being seen, not being heard, not being valued.

Dude, you know, and not seeing my worth in this interview and I was like, but still, I was like, oh my God, I have to, you know, I wanted to fight for it.

I wanted to you know, but hold on a minute.

I’ve been with you guys for a year-and-a-half.

Surely could see that, you know, I wanted to fight for it again, you know.

Because that’s that’s the constant battle just fighting

to create.

Yeah, you can’t leap read exactly.

And I once had that situation, you want to prove that you can do it so you do something even against your better judgment.

And

also just, I think me as a black woman.

I’ve always felt like I’ve had to prove.

I had to be active so much my career.

I had to be, you know, like listen, I want to try it.

I want to offer you.

I’m going to do it.

I’m going to learn from you.

Don’t worry.

I’ll do the extra work and that’s how I kind of progressed.

And I see other people who are just like, oh I’m just chilling and I’m like, am I trying too hard?

Is that the problem?

But then if I don’t, then you have oh no, she’s not, you know, she’s not.

Yeah.

And then that’s that.

That’s it, you’ve got this big dude, big debate like you know you you try too hard, you’re pushing yourself but then if you don’t then you look like your slacker and they will say you are lazy and they accuse you of that and then it’s like what do you do?

You’re torn and I do believe that you do you are already at a disadvantage of being in a minority and several different groups.

And so you always have to prove that you are as good as or better than them.

And that’s the problem and and you are consistently fighting this battle with yourself for that for that that That you all good.

And it’s an entirely really difficult.

Battle really is.

So I get it.

No, I had that.

You know, go back to.

Yeah.

So I was trying, I got the sense that I just dread feeling, you know, like, oh my God, they can’t see my.

But yet, I wanted to kind of prove myself and my friend was like, what are you doing?

It’s me, like, did you just tell me about this project?

You are so excited about what are you doing?

And I was like, you know what, you’re right.

And I recognize that the fear kind of, you know.

Yes, again my livelihood, you know, I had a mortgage what, what’s going to happen, blah, but I realized also the excitement of it and I realized my fear was that I didn’t want to really tap into my savings and diminish my savings.

So I didn’t have anything because I thought I’d just leave and start doing it.

And then I found a solution that works for me, I think that is what that I think.

If anything, that’s so important, when you have, when you come across a situation that’s difficult.

Challenging rather, yes, acknowledge it.

Take a top, take some time to, you know, digest it don’t run away from it, the feelings, the emotions, and then the next, you know, after that is just finding a solution that works for you because there’s always in a spectrum of how bad it is, and how good it is.

There’s always a spectrum where you will be comfortable, you know, might not be, might not be the best but you you’ll be okay, you’ll accept it, you’ll be fine.

So I had to find a spectrum where I would be okay because there’s no way I would be like, yeah, I’m gonna leave and have no pay, it’s not realistic.

But let me find somewhere within that linear journey where I would feel comfortable enough to go.

Okay, let’s do this and that was okay I don’t want to tap into my savings too much.

So why don’t I just get a job that is going to be you know but I can’t get a job that’s too stressful because then I will take my attention for my business.

Why don’t I get a job that’s going to be perhaps less stressful.

Bit more fun.

What can I get out of it?

Maybe I can meet some people.

Maybe I can learn something, maybe I can try those things and I never did as you know, young people.

Did, you know it 20s and a teenager’s?

I worked this.

I did that.

And that’s how I saw it, you know.

So in that sense it became something positive as opposed to.

Oh my God I gotta do this and you know and then guess what?

I left and I didn’t even have to do it.

but I didn’t you just say so he describes every person’s kind of mental journey for when they started my own business.

It’s one of the scariest things, right?

You, you have a safety net in a job, you’ve got a salary, no matter what happens.

You’re going to have a salary but you know when you’re doing it by yourself you don’t have that if things go wrong.

What do you do?

And if you’ve got a mortgage you’ve got kids, you’ve got all those things to worry about.

You have dependents, you you are going to fear for not being able to provide for them.

This is the consistent thing I hear when people are trying to start their own business and I’m always trying to inspire people to start their own business because it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and like you say, it’s the best thing you’ve ever done.

And most people do say that, if you truly love what you do, you should do it.

Life is too short.

But again, it’s like don’t start a business because you think it’s a good idea and you think it’s going to make you money, that’s the wrong reason to start a business and you’re not and it’s not all the glory that people think about.

So you have to realize that there’s gonna be a ton of stress a ton of late nights, a ton of hard work, a ton of financial problems and you need to be prepared for all of that.

If you don’t love what you do, you’re not going to be prepared for that.

You’re going to be going.

Why am I doing this?

Because I love what I do and I still wake up and go.

Why am I doing this?

Like you know,

I’m curious because I don’t think we’ve ever spoken about how you came to start your business.

So I’m curious to hear your journey.

I think that’s a story for another day because like that is a long story.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously share it another day, but mine is also crazy.

And you know, I do obviously love what I do.

I think it’s quite clear to anyone who speaks to me, that’s passion there, but I would never be able to do this job if I didn’t have that passion because it is so stressful.

And whilst people see me as the happy energetic like bubbly person, they think.

Oh my God.

She’s as happy all the time.

She’s just like, life must be so easy but I’ve no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

And that’s what I guess this podcast is also all about because I want to speak to people who are willing to tell the truth who are willing to not give the social media answer for, you know, life and put the pictures up of all the brilliant things that happened and the successes.

I want to hear about the tears, I want to hear about the stress, I want to hear about the, you know, turning to a bottle which is not the right thing to do but people have done it because they’re scared and they’re worried and and just you know realize that

everyone’s human.

And this is what we all go through.

But I want to talk about the positive sides of this because I love your journal.

Like I’m a big journal person.

But I love it because to me and I obviously want to hear your opinion to me.

Like I’ve got the journal here.

Not only is it beautiful and great but I love that as a busy person.

I love the fact that you’ve got one page per day.

There’s space to actually do stuff.

There were so many ones who just have a bit of space and I’m like my day is so busy, like give me space.

Like you write what I need to do first off.

That’s I love love, love the coloring.

Oh my God, like I remember the phase ever went through all the coloring, you know, adult coloring is therapeutic, it is an oh, my God music now, the crazy person too, but it’s the fact that it’s so wholesome.

Like you cover everything, you cover the busy person, like busy business owners life.

Like, you know what?

They need to do?

You cover personal relationships, you cover financial you cover like every bit of that wheel of life, which is in here, which you can color, which I also know.

And like, you know, you’ve got travel goals, you’ve got like, you know, morning routines evening routines.

It’s like, you thought of absolutely everything to sort someone’s life at.

And I that’s, that’s how I visualize your journal because I just think it’s so cool.

Like, how did you come to this?

And like yeah, like how are your, what your thoughts are?

I hope you’re proud of it because I think it’s an amazing product, but I want to hear what you think about this tunnel.

Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you.

That that makes me feel so happy.

Yeah, I know, I am super proud super proud, super, super proud.

It took a long while to get here, but I knew I would, you know, just fine-tuning little things and that’s what I’m going to say, you know, don’t wait until it’s perfect.

You will perfect it on the way.

So, you know, now I’m like, oh yes, it’s the sweet spot right now, but me so now I can I can I can build.

But for me, it was again, you know, going through everything I’ve been through going through, kind of just just my challenges and, you know, trying to build a successful career and trying to just be successful in life.

I, I kind of took it to personal development, you know.

How do I do that?

I think it’s just about being curious, you know?

So if I want to be successful in my career, what do I do?

If I want to be successful in life?

What do I do?

And you read you find things.

And I think during my I was twenty-five, twenty-four twenty-five, literally, I call it a quarter life crisis, and did you feel like everything just just wasn’t working for me, you know, like workwise.

I think that’s when I was kind of trying to navigate myself from, you know, you know, like what I really wanted to do where I wanted to go, I had a long-term relationship that just had ended.

My friendships were very shaky you know my relationship with my mom wasn’t great.

You know it just felt like there was a lot going on.

I just hold on a minute, hold on a minute.

It can’t be everyone else.

It must be me.

Yeah.

What is good and a bad thing if you know for me it was a good thing because I said it must be me so I need to take a moment and step back and reflect.

What is it that I’m putting out there.

What is it that?

I because it can’t just be everyone.

The commonality is me, you know.

Nice, honey.

So important like the fact that you were able to self-reflect, can’t do that.

That is something that most people can’t do.

I think it’s so important these days and that’s what and it’s a big thing at the moment self-reflection people are realizing the how important that is and obviously this journal allows you to do it.

So in so many areas, which I think, is what makes it stand out from all its competitors and I just think as all, you know, mental health is a big topic at the moment, you know, very big and I’m really, really pleased that it’s becoming less of a stigma and people are realizing just how serious mental health issues are.

And, you know, everyone’s working from home.

They consider it to be normal and not everyone’s considerate about other people’s working from home status.

Like if you’re sitting in a nice, big town has loads of outdoor space and many rooms and you know, home offices.

Then you know, you’re you’re probably doing okay.

And you’re working from home, life is probably quite comfortable.

But what about if you’re in London and you know, I’m renting in London, I don’t yet own my own place.

That is my 2021 goal, by the way.

But I don’t yet own my own place, and I just have a room.

This is where I was where I work.

This is where I sleep.

This is where I eat, you know, and I lucky, I have a bathroom.

Why is this is where I did showering too and it’s not healthy, like, it’s not if this tiny room is my, uh, my only, you know, four walls, I get to be in, that’s not healthy, and people don’t appreciate that and how that much can take a toll, but because I’m a bit more self aware of it.

I don’t have, you know, the detrimental mental health effects that it could cause, but not everyone is that lucky.

And this is why I then I love this journal now, because it makes you more aware because mental health issues.

So I wanted to ask you about your experience in mental health too.

And you know what it means to you and you know why you’ve obviously put these really important things in your journal.

all right?

And that’s that’s, that’s so true.

You know, I think working from home, like, the lockdown has highlighted a lot of things and my heart goes to, to a lot of people because I was fortunate to have already been working from home, so it was almost two years.

Since I started the business, I have been working from home and I had to actually gave myself time to adjust, you know, in terms of before I left CNN, I already set up my working space.

I already set up my routine.

So I was clear because, you know, I was working with a coach.

And we, you know, we did address that and say, listen, this is going to be important because it’s a very different lifestyle, so different shift.

So we came up with a plan that was just bulletproof.

Okay, this is what I’m going to do.

I’m going to wake up and going to do this and and you have to be like that, so you can ease yourself into that structure into that change.

And then once you adapt, you can then start slowly adapting and a lot of people didn’t have that they didn’t have that.

It was just thrust it into this lockdown situation which it was unfortunate and they struggled and if they didn’t have like you said that awareness or that knowledge, that it is going to be different.

So I have to adapt to it but you know and they don’t have that awareness and they just going into it the same way as they would if they’re going to work.

And they don’t have those things, it’s going to be very difficult and I also wanted to say yes, you know, people in London, no struggling or people at, you know, everywhere and even sometimes those that we think are perhaps having it a little bit better and their mansions and bigger space.

And they could also be having a really tough time because the, you know, it’s not necessarily about what you have, sometimes, it’s also about what’s going on inside and how you deal with the situation, you know, how you handle the situation.

So they could have their mansions and there they space.

But still, they could be mentally really, really dealing, you know, not taking the situation as well as someone like yourself, you know, because you’re aware, you put in the work, you’re putting the effort, you know, you putting, you know, you’re doing what you need to do to look after yourself.

So in terms of mental health, the way I see it.

Yes.

There’s a stigma which I’m glad a lot of people are discussing now and it’s becoming a topic that we are all able to openly bring up and workplaces are aware of this and hopefully families as well.

But this whole thing about mental health and then people obviously go again to the other spectrum of mental health you know mental health is just like physical health, you know, it is this it is is it’s just it’s just the one that you can’t see.

Yeah, my it’s essentially like it’s the opposite of physical health, we all know we all go for walks, get fresh air, you know, go to the gym, you know, run do yoga dance, you know, just so that we can be physically healthy, you know, we put things in place at home, you know how we said, how we, you know, this is how to stand the right shoes to wear, you know, so you can be physically healthy.

It’s essentially the same thing with mental health.

You don’t have to wait till you have a bad back, which I literally did to look after your health and it wasn’t because I wasn’t looking out my old.

I was, but you don’t need to wait for it to get bad before you then pay attention to it.

Yeah.

And I think this is what, where the hopefully we’re breaking down that stigma where it’s like, you don’t

have action is better than

cure.

Exactly.

It’s exactly.

Like you’re if you’re gonna go for a run that essentially, can you incorporate that into your mental health, you know, in terms of because running fresh air.

It allows you to

kind of make your head.

Exactly.

But if you’re aware of it, and you can put more focus on it.

It’s like, it’s like, when perhaps having like a strenuous job, where you’re physically active, however, it is good for physical health, but you’re not conscious of it, you know, as opposed to going to the gym and being physically active and know knowing that this is what you’re doing, it’s the awareness bit.

If you’re aware of it, then you can put in more effort and you know, you probably will see the results better and much quicker.

So being aware, you know, in terms of okay I’m going to do something for my well-being.

You know how am I feeling right now?

Am I feeling a little low?

Might be a little sad.

What’s going to help me?

You know, what do I need right now?

Do I need sleep?

Do I need rest?

Do I need companionship, you know, do I need to just be myself.

Do I need to go work out because, you know, I just need to shift some energy.

Do I need to journal?

Do I need to speak to someone do?

I actually need professional help.

These are times.

I think mental health.

The first thing is just self, you know like taking time for yourself because then you start asking those questions and the more you ask the more you get to know yourself the more you get to know yourself the easier for you to read those signs.

Very, very easily.

And very quickly, then you can be like, oh, you know what?

I just snapped at someone that means that means stress over there and do what I need to do to be stressed, right?

Yeah, you’re not aware of it and you just carry on carry on, carry on till the point where it didn’t manifest into something else.

If it manifests into actual mental health, where, you know, you didn’t, you then need professional services and help or it manifest into physical health.

You know, a lot of the physical health issues that we have can be attributed to mental health.

Yeah,

exactly.

Absolutely.

So, tell me because for me, I think that this book, this journal has helped me in terms of like survive a lockdown and, you know, get on top of my own thoughts and just like, you know, it’s, there’s so much going on in my head just, like, do so busy all the time.

And it’s just so nice to write the thoughts down.

It’s also, you have like amazingly inspirational quotes on here, it’s also just helps me be really organized and it’s got the actions I need to do.

And you know, physically how do I feel right now?

That’s one of the questions I have to answer and it’s like it actually makes me actively think about these things.

Whereas I wouldn’t even do that.

Just be, I’m so used to just working stupid hours a day and then only when it’s too late.

So I feel completely run down and it’s not healthy and I realized the importance of sleep and how I’ve actually tried to actively do that.

So tell me and how you envisage this helping so many people.

Well, it was helping me in the first place, you know, because I’m good as like I need, you need something that has everything you know, like I just had loads of different, you know, notebooks planners that are today.

I was writing it myself.

I was creating vision boards or but I just needed something all in one.

So I was like, I need to do this for me and if it can help me, it can help others.

And just just what you said that that’s essentially it.

You know, we have high achievers, we have very focused people who have a goal I mean, it doesn’t have to be business, it could be family goals, it could be relationship goals and they did, they just go for it?

They tunnel vision.

Everything else is just like falling apart, but they don’t care because they have this, this goal that they really need to achieve.

And when you get there, it’s underwhelming because everything else is not in place.

You know, you don’t enjoy the journey as well.

So this is what I wanted to bring with my product because I just again, I think you probably just talking about this with you can see from my history.

I just realized that now.

So this is like therapy.

I can see my history that I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to enjoy the journey, you know.

Yes, I want to be I want to achieve certain things.

I want success in some ways, but I want to enjoy the journey.

When I was, you know, early 20s during the mortgage broking, I didn’t enjoy the journey and I just want to know I’m too young not to enjoy this journey, you know, and then, you know, like with the media career as well.

I enjoyed it until the point where just like no, I said not being seen.

I’m not being heard.

I don’t enjoy this anymore and I want to enjoy the journey.

So I wanted to give people I guess I wanted to give myself a tool that allows me to enjoy this journey towards my success towards my goal.

You know and not get there, feel underwhelmed and go oh is that it?

And then you look around your friends and family are not there because you’ve not paid them any attention because it’s just been you.

You look around, perhaps your finances are not even there because you’ve not taken a moment to check in and see, okay?

When I get here, will I have the money to, you know, to will it be okay or your health is not there?

You know, you can enjoy it without your health, your mental health is not there, you know, so it’s important to be balanced in a way that you can achieve success but do it in a healthy way.

And I don’t mean okay.

Everything has to when I say balance it doesn’t mean everything has to be 50/50 or okay.

We’re going to split everything, it’s going to be 20, 20, 20 20.

So it’s 100 no balance in a sense that it suits you in terms of what you need at that moment.

And what you need that will allow you to get that will allow you to get to your goal and achieve your goals.

For example, if your business is, you know, you want to start a business and or you have a young business like I do, clearly building that business is going to be one of the main priorities.

Because that’s your bread and butter that’s your livelihood and you want to make it a success.

So yes, that’s going to be a focal point, but it doesn’t mean that you cut you, you know, you can’t forget about, you know, your friends, your relationships, because that’s what’s going to keep you sane, does it begin to reach out to when things are hard?

You know, you checking on your finances is at the business actually doing well, financially are you checking in on your mental health because it’s challenging.

So those things might not be your number one priority goal, but they should be your sub goals and they should be there for you to always be aware of and go, you know what, I’ve no idea, you know, I need to go out for a walk.

I’ve been on this laptop for 48 hours, you know, I do.

And that’s what the journal is about.

It’s about helping you rebalance those things because it’s going to look different, you know, it could look, you know, today could be one thing again, it could be your business as the main goal but tomorrow you realize actually I’m not feeling that well, so my health should be my focus right now.

Again us business.

Just pointed out some amazing things that really like ring home true to me as a business owner too and it’s like well you said they might not they may not be your number one goal but in a way they should be because without them you can’t achieve any other goals.

So you know, a lot of people talk to me about business goals and especially this year 2021 goals because everyone to The 20/20 vision thing a look at that today.

So you know, like that year was crap and it’s just like ever like what I’m so done with 20/20 that I need to kind of focus on this year.

It’s all my goals and January is a big month for goals and you know, I feel like say if your goal is to, you know, a very common one amongst my mutual business owners is, I want to reach that million pound turnover.

That’s a big business goal for any small business like that million pound turnover.

How do I get there?

And it’s like, well, fine, that’s good enough doing that as your goal.

But like you said, if you’re physically, not fit, you’re not going be able to perform in business, if you’re financially bad.

But how the hell are you gonna support your business?

If your then got mental health problems, how do you concentrate at work?

Those without those three things, you cannot achieve your goals, and I think the finance thing is a really important one, but just because you’re bigger than your bank account, does not mean that your business is financially healthy.

And that’s what people don’t realize until it’s too late.

It’s like, you could be like, have a nice bit of money, but then you’re bleeding money in certain areas, and slowly bit by bit.

Your company is hemorrhaging money and it’s before if you don’t keep on top of those things it’s too late.

If you don’t keep on top of your physical health, you’ll start to see that go down very quickly.

You don’t keep up your mental health, you’ll see your productivity and everything else and your performance levels just drop and everything else will drop.

So, and

also, I mean, like I mentioned relationships is so important because we need that we can’t just easily.

Not we’re not humans and are meant to just be alone.

So, if your tunnel vision just on your own your business and you you’re not told your friends, you’re not doing anything you still, you know, when you get there, who’s going to be there with exactly no one.

When it’s tough, who do you talk to me?

Like, you need someone to talk to, like, you can’t be alienating everyone.

That’s just not healthy at all.

And the most important part for me, which I haven’t yet mentioned, is that the section for me.

I’m going to always have that end in all my journals I think it’s the celebration and contribution because again, we take that to the next level, you know, because when you do something that is bigger than you, it’s it’s not just for you it’s for other people.

You know, it’s worthwhile and that’s why you stick to it a bit more.

Yes, you can have a passion for something.

But if you know that other people are counting on you to deliver this thing and you care about those people, you your well you know you can’t just wake up and go.

I’m not going to do it.

If it’s for yourself.

You can wake up and go.

I’m not going to do it.

I’m just gonna say that but if you know that other people who you care for counting on you, that is additional motivation for you to keep going.

So contribution, in terms of what is this?

What I’m what am I bringing to the world?

What am I giving back?

You know what is my gift?

You know, what’s my purpose?

You know I think it’s so important to take the time to just reflect that because it gives you some grounding gives you it’s centers you when things are challenging when you find things that are feeling like okay, what am I doing this for?

Why, why am I doing this again?

And the celebration?

It’s again, key.

It’s about.

Are you enjoying this process?

Because if you’re not enjoying it, what is the point?

Don’t do it.

Do something else

to celebrate, and it’s another way of retraining your brain, because I think we’re very good at finding faults in everything.

I agree.

Designer who is stressful running any business by yourself celebrating even the small wins is so inspiring and positive and it’s just like, okay what are our little mini goals on the way to that big goal you know and you can celebrate those little wins even if it’s like I got through this really tough day and I was able to do things like you know even anything like it’s so nice as just recognized and it that’s it just makes you more inspired to that next step.

But I think that’s again an absolutely crucial thing and it’s actually just said in all your journals.

I want to talk about because you’ve got other products.

It’s not just this one journal.

I know that this is the main one but you have loads of other cool things and I also love the fact that you’ve got the coloring card too the separate thing that you can just get a pack of those.

And oh my God, they are therapeutic.

And also just gorgeous.

They put on your walls and like, you know, it’s nice.

So I want to hear about some of your other products that you’ve got and and what and what they do and how they help people too.

So I mean, my mission throughout everything I’m going to do with MYnd Map is to inspire empower enable people.

First of all, to just dream big reconnect with their purpose, find what their goals are.

But intentional goals, not just oh I just want, you know, I want a big house, but why do you want it?

What difference is going to make to you, to family, to the world, you know, is it the house you want or is it actually just the freedom or the financial freedom?

What is it?

So for me my products are there to just really dig a little bit deeper, find your true goals and then give you the tools because I want you, it’s not about you.

Okay, you got goals.

Now, off you go and then you’re like,

I’m gonna start to do but it’s to give you those tools too.

That’s why it’s so detailed.

That’s why it’s so already pre pre pre structured for you, so you can and I do get people who like, oh, but I don’t know what to start on.

I say okay, you gotta own it as well because everything is there.

You got to own it, you gotta be truthful to yourself and go.

Okay, you know what?

I could just start coloring.

And if I wanted to or I could just start actually writing down, what are my goals for the next 90 days?

So it is, it is all structured for you because I want you to kind of remove that fear of.

I don’t know what to do.

How am I going to start?

Because for me, that is sometimes what helps with procrastination and end up not doing because I’m like, I don’t know.

So I’m just not going to do it but you can get it removed.

So essentially all my products is just there to help people as much as I can.

I mean, I’m not going to cotton wool wrap you in cotton wool, I don’t believe in that because you got to put in the work, the journal is there, the products are there but you got to write it down and you got to take the action so it’s not you can buy it and be like oh, it didn’t work.

But yeah, it’s not going to get out of it what you put in here, exactly.

So in terms of what, what are my products?

I guess they are there to just provide all the tools, you know, from how to create positive habits, how to plan it.

So essential, you know, how to actually, you know, go about making those plans a reality because you can plan and there’s planning and there’s like good planning.

So essentially, how do you plan well, so you can actually start taking those actions and seeing results, you know, you can have a list of 10 things do them, but you don’t feel like you’ve done anything or you don’t see any results but how do you actually plan better and do that in a mindful way?

Like I said, incorporate all those things that are important, the fun, you know, the other areas in life, without kind of just being washed out and drained by just this one goal or what you want to achieve.

So, I have the journals which are perfect.

I love them.

I have to, I just, I just released the latest version, which is the one you have, and I’m so loving that and get the first one is, it’s great because that’s fully structured.

So everything is there for you.

With the new one, there’s a bit more space for you know, these are for people who’ve used the first journal, so the new one has more of a few some space for you to now, start setting your own personal goals.

Now, I kind of get the hang of this, you know, I’m getting I’m getting to a place where I’m able to ask myself these questions and find out what I want to know.

No.

Actually, this is my project.

I want to renovate my kitchen.

That’s, you know.

So you are able to add that into the new journal and then start planning that out for yourself, the other elements because now that you’ve started creating those positive habits, you know.

Now I’m okay.

Let’s focus on really good habits that can stick morning routine evening routine, you know, again the gratitude section, we have the habit tracker with the new one, so you’re building, you know, if it’s drinking to three liters of water every day, you can track that and hold yourself accountable, but in a creative in a fun way, you know.

that lie, exactly accountability made fun, that’s what it feels like and it is so so good.

And yeah, I have to say, like I said, I love my journals, but this one is just I feel like it’s just a zoo.

Those of everything everything and it’s all in one place like you said, which I think is incredible, so you can buy it.

I believe that MYnd Map dotco, so MYND, I love that.

How is my MYnd Map?

Like MYND Map, love it and dotco.

And yeah, well you can find you on Instagram, I think you’re quite popular there.

And where else can we find you for working?

with me on Instagram you can find me on Facebook.

I also have like a personal Instagram if you snoop you’ll find that.

So feel free to follow me there.

Other products, we have the journal, which is just blank.

So if you wanted to free write.

And that’s the thing, the quality of our, you know, it for me, it’s about quality, it’s something that you hold and you feel, it feels precious to you because I had something similar there.

Just felt like all my dreams and hopes were in there.

So the quality of my product is just that is one really important thing.

So when you get it that the paper quality so you can actually draw and if you write with fountain pens and stuff like that.

It just feels so good.

So I have the full journal which is blank just space which I’m actually using.

I’ve got the colors as well, and there’s like questions there for you to reflect with some affirmations, just to help you kind of keep that positive state of mind, etc, and doodling.

And and then you have the agendas.

So if you don’t want to take your journal to work.

You can have the weekly agenda, which is a notepad and it covers all over the week again.

It’s super fun.

You know, you have the gratitude section, you have the habit tracker and you have the doodling it, and you can write your notes and you can schedule your day for the week.

Yes, it is.

A lot of fun, fun things you can get, try out.

If you don’t want to start with the journal, you can start out with those, the day agenda as well and the cards.

But yeah – on all social platforms and yeah, just connect with me on my LinkedIn as well.

So

amazing.

Well, I just want to say thank you so much for coming in today.

I think it’s been such an insightful chat about so many different topics and you know, I think that anyone listening, obviously if you’ve got any questions for Rose, do it about like, you know, if you want to find out a bit more about mental health and how the journal can help definitely speak to her.

And and also just what it’s like being a female black female in a male dominated environment, she’s got experience like that.

So do I, I obviously am in the web dev world and consistently have problems there.

So, you know, we feel your pain.

We know that you were not the only ones feeling like this.

So anyone who has made us feel like this, please do get in touch because we get it.

But Rose, thank you so much.

It’s been great having you today.

I hope to all the listeners.

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s show and I will see you guys on the next episode.

Thank you so much Sabrina.

Bye guys.